Satoshi, Alone in Thought
by Shanshan310
Summary: This is my first story... the title kind of explains a lot... rated T for a little swearing, as well as some adult kind of themes... sorry..ENJOY!


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yay! this is my first story. I hope its alright! just remember, go easy on me cause i haven't writen fanfic before... I decided to write this story one evening when i was reading, then the thought kinda popped into my mind and i couldn't get rid of it. Everything kinda just flowed out... ok now i sound a bit retarded... i love Satoshi! he so cool!! 

i dont own D.N.Angel... i dont think anyone on fanfiction does... but if i did you would see a suspiciously Shannon-like character on it...who ends up marrying Satoshi and they live happily ever after...

i've been putting off uploading this, but as its the last day of school i thought i might do it...(does an odd little dance)

and just for you people who dont figure it out on their own...

_this is Satoshi's thoughts_

**and _this _is Krads**

thankyou for your time! enjoy...

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Satoshi Hiwatari jolted upright from his sleep, screaming. He panted, and sweat poured down his pale face. He gasped as the cold night air hit him. Still trying to regain his breath, he ran his fingers through his damp hair. It appeared that this was not unusual in Satoshi's nightly events. He grasped at his chest, almost as if trying to rip out his heart. His nails dug into his skin, and sweat mixed with blood. He grinded his teeth together, and whimpered. All signs of pain. 

But then he stopped. His hand fell limp to his bed sheets. His pained look was replaced by confusion, and then relief soon after. Satoshi lay back down, his arms crossed behind his head. He sighed, and gazed up toward the ceiling. He wasn't there. For once his voice wasn't ringing through Satoshi's mind.

_Krad. He Thrives on my fear. Fear of him. Fear of everything. So much fear, so much hate. Why? Why do I feel this way? Why do I let myself?_

_He seizes all I have, leaving me, empty and alone, here to rot. Alone. That is all I am. There is nothing left inside. I am an empty shell. Just a vessel meant only for carrying on the Hikari line. A means of transport for Krad. And here I am again. Back to my demon. Its strange, how he has control over my thoughts, without even trying. He has left me for the night, to be alone in my thoughts. For that I feel that I should be at least slightly grateful. However, I am not. _

_Why should I feel gratitude for minutes of peace when he has tormented me for years without fail? It deeply angers me. No. Anger is not a word strong enough for what I feel. I hate him with a great passion. I would like more than almost anything to be able to slice him, alive, into thousands of small pieces with a blunt, rusty sword. To hear his blood curdling screams of both agony and fear. To wipe that stupid fucking smirk from his sneering face forever. My heart pumps with a strange adrenalin at the mere thought. But no. He lives inside me. I have become the shield of my nemesis. But not for much longer. I will get him, like he got me. _

_Listen to me. He has me. Madness has me. Trapped inside a dark cell screaming as he jabs weapons through the bars. No one hears them. The deathly, macabre screams go unheard into the night. Because I am not really in a cell, I am in my apartment. I let my eyes adjust to the darkness, and ready myself to see the after effects of tonight's struggle. No matter what it seems, whether bloodstained walls or torn paintings, it is always the same down deep. Insane. Murderous. _

_Just like Krad. He takes you with his golden eyes, captures you as though under a spell. You forget everything but gold, Entranced in those eyes. Just before he slits you open. Stealing innocent souls with a single gaze, and locking them away forever with his blade. It seems his only joy to see the blood of another sprayed all over the wall. To see red ooze from flesh. I see him do it, whenever he goes out on a spree. I see the fear in those frozen eyes, and I feel it._

_My everything, he says. Why? Why does he even pretend to care? I am nothing to him, I am just there. I have only one purpose. Him. Satoshi-sama, he calls me. I am not his master, of that the both of us are well aware, yet he tries to provide this fake sense of power within me. To make me weaker. More vulnerable to his taking over. I will never be a willing pawn. These mind games will not work._

_I am alone. The emptiness I feel inside me. A gap where something warm and fuzzy should have gone, is filled only by Krad's hollow laughing. Mocking me. Always smirking at my failures and mistakes. Mistakes he caused me to make._

_I cant cry. It seems I am incapable of it. No single tear will fall from these icy frozen eyes. Not yet. Not until he is gone will I ever cry. I live only for the day I have both him and Dark sealed away. Then I will have my 'father' off my back as well. At least until he comes up with yet another stupid demand. Telling me to do it, then trying to get it done himself, thinking me incompetent. Just like him. Listen to me. How pathetic. My mind can think of nothing else. Everything I say or do traces back to Krad. He rules over my life. NO. He is my life. _

**And you are my life, Satoshi-sama.**

Satoshi closed his eyes.

_So you have returned._

**I will never leave you. _Ever. _My everything.

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I hope you liked it! i feel really foolish now... im sorry...it was a bit evil...tell what i can do to improve it! **

oh! and thankyou to cherrichik (aka liza) for dedicating that One Piece story to me!! i loved it!

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